The Balance Between Giving and Getting

Yesterday Flipper became an unwitting participant-as she is so many things-Buy Nothing Day, also known as Black Friday. Or, My Personal Version Of Hell. I was beyond appalled to read about the poor man that was killed when he unwittingly and inadvertently UNLOCKED the doors to a Wal-Mart at 5 a.m., only to be rewarded for his efforts to let consumers rush madly in to buy something that they probably don't need, by dying. Killed. Trampled to death. His poor family. I can't wrap my brain around what it is about our culture that has created some sort of sporting even out of shopping. Why would anyone get out of bed at 4:30 in order to do what, get ten bucks off some frightful toy like "Tickle Me Elmo", a toy that has created more maddened parents that almost any I can think of. And yet...I love Christmas. I love to think about what to get for Flipper (and other family members), make a list, check it MORE than twice, and then slowly start checking things off the list as I assign things to other family members, and make/buy things myself for her.
I want, really want, to provide not necessarily a HUGE Christmas, but a good one. A magical one for the child that still believes in Santa Claus. I have several books on non-consumerism parenting, such as "Living Simply with Children", and I pull it out every year around this time, hopeful that I will be inspired to do more and buy less. But who has the time, not to mention the creative energy to MAKE every present?? Not me, no matter how well-intentioned and low-impact and back-to-the-land I want to be. Luckily, my family had good Christmases. Free from drunken brawls, ugly fighting, any kind of drama. And so like almost all things from childhood, this pattern continues. I-and Flipper-are extraordinarily fortunate in this regard.
And so, like parents everywhere, I spend a fair amount of time debating the "balance"-how to keep things special without hideous plastic toys, how to make Christmas meaningful when there is no religion attached to it in my family, how to promote giving, to a child that still has a hard time grasping why people have to work to provide for themselves and their families, let alone the concept that some people truly have nothing. And every year, some things will be wildly successful, some traditions will fall by the wayside, there will be some tears, and lots of joy. But there won't be a mad rush to stores, and there won't be anything that laughs on it's own under the tree.