The Lonely Only. (Sometimes)

Recently, Flipper's only-child status has been causing me a bit of angst, angst that until now has not reared it's unattractive head. Usually, I love that she is an only child, because it opens more doors to us than would normally be open. Private school, travel to Hawaii, a close relationship with me and her father...all of these are benefits. She competes only with the dogs for time and attention. We recently spent the afternoon with an old friend of mine and her two children, and to see how easy it is for Flipper to make friends, to adapt to them and play easily with children that were strangers to her, well, all I can say is, my sister and I were NEVER that nice to "outsiders." When she was born I felt very, very complete. You know, "all done!" But now that she is 5, it is harder. She is lonely (and bored) almost every afternoon, and I am much more interested in NOT going anywhere after school (and my job) are through at 1:00. The fairy house, the dollhouse, the blocks, the Legos...all the toys that kept my sister and me occupied for hours on end sit, unused, unless a friend comes over. I have long maintained a "no playing" policy with Flipper, since, frankly, I find playing with toys meant for a 5 year old boring, and one round of Candyland is enough to make me want to burn the entire set when she isn't looking while poking my eyes out with a hot poker.
Solutions to this elude me...afterschool programs? Sports? She already takes gymnastics once a week, which is about all I am willing and able to pay for. Buy more things? Break my "no media" policy-even though she goes to a Waldorf school? Schedule playdates on a regular basis, even though I would then have to keep a neater, less messy house than I normally do, not to mention the fact that the older our children get, the less time we seem to have to hang out at another's house or playground for hours on end. These are the things that keep me up at night. And so now I understand why my mother had the two of us in quick succession: 20 months apart. When Flipper was exactly 11 months old I remember thinking, Wow, she got pregnant again RIGHT NOW. The second thought was, HOW???!!!??
Prior to this, I scoffed at the label "the lonely onlys", as though second children are here only to serve as playmates for the oldest, but when I see her at loose ends, and remember how much fun my sister and I had, I start to wonder how our lives would be different. This is one of those dilemmas that may not have a solution, or an answer. It may simply be. Be unsolvable, be just the way things are, unless I find a way to pretend to be 5 again, which holds little appeal. And is this my job? To find ways to keep my child happy and occupied all-or most-of the time? I am taking a combination of a "wait and see" approach and taking some steps to make something happen at the same time. But I also know that, for both of us (but especially her) this is just the way it is, the way it will always be. And like so much of parenting, of mothering...it makes me happy and sad, all wrapped up in one big guilty package. So, I'll do what I do best: focus on the positive: her ability to make friends and "fit in" so easily, travel, school, lots of love and attention and hope with all my heart that it is enough, that it will always be enough.